Tag Archives: first steps


My sweet son –

Happy birthday! You turned three today…it hurts my heart a tiny bit just to say it. You are tall enough now that I can rest my hand on the back of your head and kind enough to permit me to do so. You are changing so fast, every day brings something new – words I can’t fathom how you know, skills I can’t believe you mastered so quickly, and play I can’t figure how you imagined.

I’d like to tell you every day is perfect, but you are old enough now to realize that’s not true and tell us when you are hurt or scared or mad, and acknowledge when one of us feels the same way. There are moments of incredible frustration, like when Daddy and I took you to the National Air and Space Museum to see “rocketships” but you were having none of it, pitching a fit on the floor while school kids milled around. But those times are balanced by moments of such gentleness and love; one of my favorite times of the day is when you first wake and come in to snuggle with us, smelling like lavender and sleep. We yell and cry, and are by no means a quiet family. But there is love to spare and you are so quick with yours that it sometimes takes my breath.

You’ve accomplished so much in just one year. Within weeks of turning two you Houdini’d your way out of your crib, grinning at us as you monkey-climbed down the other side. You learned to ride bike, made friends at the park, spent hours reading to yourself and us, helped mommy cook, discovered a love of superheroes and baseball. And your language….one day during the summer I found myself staring at you, trying to decipher your baby tongue, only to realize you were speaking in entire sentences. You have such a way with words and I am so proud to see you try them out, it sometimes looks as if you can almost taste them on your lips. You take on each day with bright eyes and infectious spirit, and I find myself inspired.

As I tucked you in the night before your birthday you pulled my hand down and whispered “You make me happy.” You have no idea, my son. No longer a baby, my heart will not yet allow me to call you a big boy. But you are, without a doubt, my Sweet Boy, and I wish you the happiest of birthdays.

Happy birthday Sweet Boy!

Happy birthday Sweet Boy!

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Posted by on February 28, 2014 in family, Parenting, Remember


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First Steps

My son turned one a few weeks ago.  For 362 days my husband and I watched him in amazement, reaching all those milestones that make the first year so momentous.  And then, in the days just prior to his birthday, he did it again when he started walking.  I sat watching him, realizing I hadn’t seen him resort to crawling for a few days.  And he’d stopped cruising, clinging to furniture or legs or dogs when he needed a little extra support.  That kid took those first few steps of freedom and literally ran with it, squealing in delight.

I’ve never really held the opinion that I live my life with abandon.  Calculated risks?  Sure.  Leaps of faith?  Of course.  But actual abandon, the stuff that allows a tiny being barely two feet tall to just let go and move forward into the enormous world, sight unseen?  Not so much.  But seeing the joy on his face as my son took those first unfettered steps, that was enough to make me want to take my own. 

Writing for me is a double-edged sword – I tend to enjoy it, unless someone else will be reading.  Maybe it’s the idea of my words shuttling off into unknown territory, the inability to know whether they will find friend or foe, acceptance or rejection, criticism or support.  Fear of a potentially scary world greeting my thoughts has kept me in “cruise” mode for years, not willing to let go.  Many thanks to my sweet peanut for showing me the way – today I take my first steps.


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Posted by on March 21, 2012 in Uncategorized


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